My World, My Universe
by Eternal Setsuna Meioh
Summary: A Look into the mind and emotions of Ryoko part of this story is set to the song "Quazimodo" by Lifehouse, although it is more like interpreted by Ryoko.


Title: My World, My Universe   
  
Author: Eternal Setsuna Meioh   
  
E-mail: eternal_guardian_of_time_setsuna@yahoo.com   
  
Disclamer: I do not own Tenchi Muyo!, Universe, Tokyo, or In Love, I own nothing! If I did I certainly would not be here writing fanfics. I also don't own Lifehouse or the song Quasimodo, or I would be staring at the lead singer with hearts in my eyes all day ^_~   
  
A/N: This is another introspective fic, getting to become my style. This is also my first Tenchi fic. Hope you enjoy and please review! Also a thank you to Child of Two Worlds my beta-reader.   
  


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Slow tones rang through the air. The soft melodies bringing tears to the stinging eyes, giving them a sense of relief that would vanish with the song as it would be time to return to the normal world, before more images would invade her mind of new stories brought to life through the words of the singers. Sometimes these messages and songs seemed to describe her own life all too well. Ignored love, outcast from society, wanting to run away from her life and all her emotions. All these things put out in to the world and made acceptable in the words of a song. What did these singers have to do with her life? Nothing…but then how were some of them able to describe the tension and the ache that ran through her soul every time she thought of him, every time his eyes washed over her, the things that she would do just to be able to hold him in her arms, all the things that meant so much to her, and that everyone else mocked. These things that made her who she was, and were viewed as something horrific by others, something to be feared…what was she? Was she this to him? Was she this to everyone? …She had never been a monster when he was little. She was someone that he would run to with his tears, and the pains that he had. She was someone he had been able to confide in, in those early years so long ago. Now she was nothing but a monster…something to be given no respect, something that had no feelings. Something that no one ever should or ever would care for. The others there all seemed to hold this opinion of her, why shouldn't she agree with them? They saw all the things that she had done in a way that she never would be able to. Why should she not accept their view? The view that they had was one that many people through out the universe held of her…   


Laying there on that beam above the family room, that no one else would be able to reach, except maybe her mother…what did her life mean to her? The life that she was facing everyday was a life where the people around her, even the one that she loved the most, wanted nothing to do with her, so why should she stay? What was keeping her there? Nothing that was the only answer… Nothing…   


Life had not been kind to her…why were people never able to see that? Kidnapped from her mother at birth, forced into mind control by Kagato, then when she had finally been able to break the bonds that held her for thousands of years, she was forced to live in the astral plane for seven hundred years. Had anyone ever truly seen her for what she was? Not was she was used for, but for her real self…only one…Tenchi…the man that she loved…the one that she loved because, she had been able to show her true self to him, he was someone who had no preconceived notions about her, a soul that had never heard any horror stories of her, someone that could possibly care for her.   


But even with his lack of knowledge things still affected her, the torn kimono, the fact that he always sided with the prissy princess over her…all she ever wanted was him to care for her.   


Floating through the ceiling she sat silently on the roof, as the last chord from the CD struck its final somber note, she wiped the rogue tear that coursed its way down her cheek. Laying back on the roof of the Masaki residence she looked up at the stars as the constellations crossed over the sky. A blurry yell for her was heard from inside the residence, ignoring it thinking it was just another person calling to yell at her about something she had forgotten to do, she turned her CD player back on, and let her thoughts continue to wander over her thoughts of Tenchi.   


Why did she stay? No one wanted her here, she truly had no reason to, nothing mattered anymore if he did not care. Individuals she thought would be more loyal to her then they would be to anyone else had left her behind. Ryookhi had found a companion in Sasami that Ryoko would never be able to match. What was she to do with her life?   


After listening through the slow music, which had been playing for most of the time, a harder set of notes came to her attention. Standing up on the roof, her cyan hair gleamed in the moonlight, catching the moon's rays and reflecting them back, making her hair look like polished silver. The music was different then all the soft, romancy love songs she had been listening to, this was almost like a cry for attention, a declaration of who she was to the world, and in a sense it told her what she had to do. Her feline eyes softly closed as she heard the singer's voice call out through the music. She opened her eyes stretching her arms out wide flying through the dark night sky. She let her thoughts leave her head, focusing on the music.   
  


** _ ~*~   
You can be right and I'll be real   
And I still will be a pain that you will have to feel   
Cause I don't need your approval to find my worth   
Trapped inside of my own mind   
Afraid to open my eyes cause of what I find   
And I don't want to live like this anymore   
~*~ _**

  


Now that applied to her and Tenchi. Him always putting off his decision, yet she always stayed despite his indecisiveness. Next was something she had to do, she needed to realize that no matter what ANY of them said, "Demon," among other hateful words they used, that she did have a worth, no matter what any one else said. There were times when she was never able to leave her thoughts, trapped in them, in others views of her. During those times she was afraid to look at herself, thinking that all those evil things that they called her were true. The last line now that was the truest of them all, she no longer wanted to believe all those things they called her, she no longer wanted to settle with being viewed as something evil.   


** _ ~*~   
There goes my pain   
There goes my chains   
Did you see them falling?   
Because this feeling that has no meaning   
There goes the world off of my shoulders   
There goes the world off of my back   
There it goes   
~*~ _**

  


Sighing softly as a smile crossed over her features she relaxed, floating on the currents of wind, she felt free, this was a sensation none of the others could experience and it was soothing in that you let go of all the earthly bonds that tied you down. You had this detached sensation that made you feel as if you were observing everything that went on the world and you were not taking any part in what went on. 

** _   
~*~   
Does it scare you that I can   
Be something different that your were?   
Would it make you feel more comfortable if I wasn't?   
You can't control me   
And you can't take away from me who I am   
~*~ _**

  


Were the others scared of her? Yeah, they knew of her powers and the fact that she was something entirely different then they all were set them off around her. If she was a normal human, they probably would not even know she existed, that would probably make them feel much more comfortable. Well she was here, and there was nothing any of them could do about it. She was a free spirit, nobody could control her anymore, they would never be able to change the person that she had become. 

** _   
~*~   
There goes my pain   
There goes my chains   
Did you see them falling?   
Because this feeling that has no meaning   
There goes the world off of my shoulders   
There goes the world off of my back   
~*~ _**

  


Flying through the air, twirling in the currents, feeling the sensation of motion with the sensation of weightlessness was the most calming relaxing sensation she had ever experienced and it gave her a sense of complete freedom. 

** _   
~*~   
You can't change me   
You can't break me   
There goes the world off of my shoulders   
There goes the world off of my back   
~*~ _**

  


A smile came over her face as she heard the words from the singer, and it made her see that no matter how some of the other girls had tried to change her personality, her look, her interests, they had never been able to succeed, she would not change unless it was something she felt she had to do for herself. She slowly felt as she flew that everything was falling away from her, responsibilities, cares, and that she finally was able to be herself in a way that she had not been in an eternity. 

** _   
~*~   
Have you ever felt like your only comfort was your cage?   
You're not alone   
Well I've felt the same as you   
Have you ever felt like your secrets give you away?   
You're not alone   
I've been there too…   
~*~ _**

  


A cage being a comfort? She could relate to that entirely. When she had been trapped in the cage by Yosho, she was no longer being held under Kagato's mental control and as her thoughts wandered, she was amazed at the depth of thoughts and emotions she was able to experience. When she had been with Kagato the only feelings she had experienced were fear and intense grief for the actions she had committed. The cave Yosho had placed her in, allowed her to be free from his control, even if her body had been imprisoned.   


Secrets - being the most infamous thief in the galaxy she had many secrets that she had hidden away from the people she knew, in fear that they would gain an even more intense dislike of her then they already had. She had committed many atrocities while under Kagato's control, and many of them were disregarded by the authorities as committed by other individuals, she had framed people, set others up, bribed, stalked, killed, and tortured others all for Kagato's sick, twisted games. 

** _   
~*~   
Say everyone is looking   
And everyone's life is ever lasting,   
Everyone feels the same   
Everybody wants to be ok,   
Everybody wants to   
Everybody wants to be,   
~*~ _**

  


Every step she made into the Masaki residence, she felt this aura of distrust form around her and she always caught these veiled looks that were directed at her. She wished in a way she would confront them, but she always worried that if she did that she would prove all their myths and lies about her as true.   


The fact that everyone wanted all the same things in a sense was a comforting thought. To know that she was not the only one who desired to be happy, that she was not the only one who wanted to fall in love, and to be loved. 

** _   
~*~   
There goes my pain   
There goes my chains   
Did you see them falling?   
Because this feeling that has no meaning   
There goes the world off of my shoulders   
There goes the world off of my back   
~*~ _**

  


A sense of confidence came over her, a feeling of pride within herself. Now she knew that the only thing she truly wanted was to just be accepted, for who she was, not for what everyone thought her to be. This feeling made her feel ready to face anything that the world or Ayaka could throw at her. 

** _   
~*~   
Cause I don't want it,   
I don't want it   
You can't change me   
You can't break me   
~*~ _**

  


She didn't want all that negativity that they surrounded her with anymore. For these moments as she flew over the Japanese countryside, she felt that nothing could break this confidence that she had now discovered within herself, and it was not longer that strong façade she used, it was how she really felt. 

** _   
~*~   
There goes the world   
Off of my shoulders   
There goes the world   
Off of my back   
There it goes…   
~*~ _**

  


Landing softly on the ground in front of the Masaki residence, as the last chords rang in her ears, she slowly slid the headset off to lay around her neck. Closing her feline eyes she breathed in deeply, and smiled before she walked into the house, for the night.   
  


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A/N : Hope you all enjoyed that and since you are here please review. Let me know if anything is bad, and let me know what you liked so i can make sure to do these more often. ^_~ JA. 


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